It’s been a while since I posted a new “stupidest inventions ever” article, but then I came across this beauty, the Alcohol Shot Gun. Like the Bierstick, the point is to shoot alcohol into the back of your throat to swallow booze as fast as possible. Additionally, this one is even worse in that you can actually shoot alcohol right into your friend’s face. Great idea, let’s shoot each other in the face while we’re drunk. Surely no one will go blind this way. Surely.
Category: New Products or Services
Strange, brilliant or terrible new products
I know I mentioned it just last week, but I love Craftastrophe. Here’s a perfect example of why they are so wonderful. Look at this purely hideous thing!
I need one so bad! Cute Overload rarely seems to post photoshopped pics, but man am I glad they did this one!
Wonderfully terrible picture found at Zeitgiest In A Petiole.
I love that the co-creator of Superman did some awesome fetish art. They look fantastic and it’s so subversive. Take a look.
Some pranksters in San Francisco changed the name of Bush Street to Obama Street last night, just in time for the inaguration. This is particularly amusing to me, since I used to live there. Check it out.
Online Booty Call is a great site…if you’re a total f-ing whore.
The comercials are pretty trashy, but the idea behind the site is the truly note worthy thing about OBC. It’s exactly what it sounds like, you can go online and find someone to have sex with, strings free…because Craigslist doesn’t give you enough trashy situations. Their slogan is “A dating site for people who want to be single.” You know another a great place to meet singles who want to just fuck you and leave you? Oh yeah, the skeezy bar down the street, that is easy and free -plus the booze helps you drop those pesky feelings of guilt. An online site just can’t get you drunk enough to forget how disgusting you truly are.
All this and more is why Online Beauty Call is another great Stupidest Products Or Idea Ever.
Today, GiggleSugar had two inventions worthy of the stupidest inventions ever title. So here goes, first I present to you the Whizzinator.
Now this invention is not actually new, but it is new news that the inventors have just been arrested. You see, the Whizzinator isn’t just a flashy looking fake weinner, it’s actually a snazzy way to cheat on a drug test. The fake penis can help you squeeze out someone else’s warm pee from a realistic looking wang. The Inventors have plead guilty to a conspiracy.
The next invention isn’t illegal, it’s just moronic. If mooning people is getting you chilly and you don’t want to feel the breeze blowing against your naked cheeks, but still want to give them the full view of your back side, this little beaut is for you. You can now moon people without ever showing your real butt. Genius? Only if you’re 10 years old.
Categories
Getting Crafty With It
So I was totally inspired by my own article about bacon and have created the first ever bacon scented bath crystals. They’re for sale on Etsy if you’re interested in smelling like your favorite meat. They’re just perfect for that obsessive carnivore on your list.
Your wedding day is supposed to be a sweet and special day that you will remember for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, people with no class rarely gain any just because they’re tying the knot. Here’s 10 reasons you need to teach your kids about the sanctity of marriage -particularly the wedding gown.
10 ) The Detroit Special
Ordinarily I find the term ghetto to be a little offensive, but in this case, is there really a better term?
9Â ) (Not) The Dream Team
Nothing says “I’ll never be more than a two-bit trophy wife, nor will I ever move out of my crummy city” than a dress sporting your favorite sports team.
8 ) The “Wait, You Wanted It To Look Like That?”
While I love how many brides have been turning away from white, there’s a point where you say “Do I want to look like I skinned a flamingo?” The answer should always be “no.”
7 ) The “Camel Toe & Side Boob Together At Last”
First off, shorts and camel toe are never a good look for your wedding. Second, when the top looks like suspenders carefully hovering over your nipples, I pray you’re marrying someone as tasteless as yourself -say Michael Jackson?
6 ) The “Is That A Doily You’re Wearing?”
Can you say say slizz-ut? It looks like someone hit her with a net gun and she just decided to work it as a gown.
5 ) The Private Dancer
Thank you to Shessoghetto.wordpress.com for the highlights on the viewer’s faces. Seriously, the expressions at this showgirl’s wedding are great.
4 ) The “Make Papa Hefner Proud”
Anyone knick named Tit’s McGee is not known for her class and elegance. Seriously, this dress looks like a champagne glass trying to serve as the Hoover dam.
3 ) The “When I grow up, I wanna be Chelsea Charms.”
I’d love to see her get in a fight with Tits McGee over who looks beter with their obscenely non-existent tops laid out.
2 ) The “Mommy Taught Me Right”
Tacky crystals and a huge train don’t trick anyone into thinking your dress is less trampy.
If you’re wondering what her mother would say, check out this respectful and demure mother of the bride dress. Yes, it does run in the family.
1 ) The “How Much Did Your Wife Cost?”
Russian brides rarely come this easy. Is she going to a wedding or to an auction block?
At least there’s a back to the dress…kind of.
If you enjoyed this post, be sure to check out its sister post, Terribly Trashy Tuxes.