Terribly Trashy Tuxes

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

It’s not only brides that choose bad outfits on their wedding days. Jerry Seinfeld once pointed out that all men look the same in tuxedos –these men certainly break that rule in the worst possible way.

I can’t see you, you’re in camouflage:
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Look, we get it, you’re either into hunting or you’re in the military or you’re in a crazy militia. Whatever the reason you thought it was a good idea to go “commando” for your wedding, you were wrong. Camouflage and weddings just don’t mix. For more terribly wonderful camo wedding images, check out this post from Tacky Weddings.

Someone wants to be Willy Wonka of the wedding world:

NOZZE DI CLEMENTE RUSSO E LAURA MADDALONI

Is that Prince beside you in the first pic? I know he can get away with wearing crap like that and acting straight, but you can’t. Bad call dude. We know you’re a tool, you really don’t need to try this hard to prove it.

Ohh the colors!! Ohh the stripes!!! Ohhh the humanity:
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Yeah, I love stripes and colors…but not diagonal stripped blue weirdness. Seriously guy, points for originality and all, but this is just ugly. And really, what’s up with your shoes? At this point, you should have just gone for the blue suede.

I’m afraid of clowns:
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Or at least, I’m afraid of clown weddings. Balloon animals and hats are fun and all, but it’s never a good thing when your tux can be popped at any given moment.

Some things are best left in the past:
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This twenties tuxedo is a perfect example. I know vintage clothes are awesome, but don’t let an item’s oldness blind you from its ugliness. A general rule is orange and brown stripes never look good.

Ironic, huh?
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I know, you’re trying to be such a cool hipster by wearing an ugly seventies tuxedo. Won’t everyone think you’re so funny for being ironic? Isn’t it so funny? The answer to both questions is no. You just look stupid and the mustache isn’t adding to the hipster factor, it just makes you look like even more of a tool. Your Flickr set only furthers this theory.

So there you have it. Bridezillas are not the only tasteless ones in weddings. Gentlemen can be just as stupid and tacky. Remember guys, it’s hard to go wrong in black and white.