I admit it, I think Pikachu is a cute character, but if I ever got to the point where I owned a collection of toys in his shape, I would want you to shoot me. I leave it up to you to decide what to do with these weirdos that own five of the world’s largest collections.
The scariest thing about pedophiles is that, unless they are card-carrying members of NAMBLA, they’re pretty difficult to distinguish from the rest of the creepy-looking populace. But don’t tell that to the San Louis Obisbo Sheriff’s Department who thinks that popular internet meme Pedobear is actually a way for sex offenders to communicate their lust for children to one another. Apparently, they even kicked someone out of Comic Con for dressing as Pedobear and handing out candy, not understanding that the last person who would molest kids would be a teenager wearing a costume mocking the icon used to shame creepy child molesters.
A man in China is facing harsh criticism because he taught his dog to smoke cigarettes and the animal is now addicted, smoking up to a pack a day. In America, this would be enough to get your animal taken away from you. In China though, it just makes you a loathed local celebrity.
Avatar: The Bootleg. Personally, I think this “documentary” would be better than the actual movie.
For the low, low price of only one million dollars, you could be the proud owner of J.D. Salinger’s used, uncleaned commode. Of course, I’d expect you to add on another 10% to the deal as a finders fee for your humble blog author here.
Check out my new post at InventorSpot discussing the World’s Most Ridiculous Hello Kitty Products.
Ever since Alanis Morrisette came out with her breakthrough hit “Ironic,” people throughout the world have had a hard time understanding what the word actually means. If you’ve had a little bit of trouble getting your head around the definition, then here’s an easy way to tell.
If something happens that you really don’t want to happen, like “rain on your wedding day,” it’s not necessarily ironic. If something happens that tests the limits of absurdity because it is the exact opposite of what you would expect to see happen, then it is ironic.
Perhaps the ultimate example of irony in this decade is the news that Octomom, the woman who is known solely for filling her uterus to capacity, has paired with PETA to work on a spay and neuter campaign. While this works for PETA, who has a knack for being absurd, it’s the ultimate in hypocrisy for Miss Baby Mama 2009 to try to tell animal owners to do the exact opposite of what she has become famous for. I mean, the woman admitted to having an “addiction” to being pregnant.
What’s next, Snoop Dogg telling kids not to smoke marijuana? Janis Dickinson speaking out on botox?
I say she get her tubes tied and then we can talk about her pushing for spay and neuter programs.
Here’s a thought, if you work for a police agency that specializes in air travel, don’t test your screeners by using real explosives planted on unwitting tourists. The Slovakian air police did just this and one of the eight explosives was not detected and the poor Irish tourist was arrested near the end of his journey. It wasn’t until three days later that the Slovak police got in touch with their Irish counterparts and told them to let the man out of jail.
CNN has reported that a number of people have been experiencing serious depression after viewing Avatar because they cannot live in the imaginary world seen on screen.
“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” some loser named Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “
Here’s a tip: if you are feeling this low after seeing Avatar, you probably should just kill yourself because your life is obviously an empty void to start with.
I’ve already written more about My Pink Button genital dye on the A*Hole’s Guide to Etiquette, but in continuing our coverage of the stupidest products and ideas ever, I thought it deserved a mention here as well.