Decisions Decisions Contest!

3651560478_5f5979717dFew of you know this, but I have the sick, self-loathing drive to be a stand up comedian. As a result, I get annoyed when people try really hard to be funny and just fall flat…it’s double when the person is a woman because I am annoyed with how unfunny women tend to be.

Anyway, I was listening to the radio this morning and they had a contest where the person with the funniest reasons for their answers to two questions would win a prize. The contestant’s answers were miserable. I know I could do way better and I think you readers could as well.

So, the first person with answers I deem to be funnier than my own will receive a prize -be sure to leave your real email in the comments so I can contact you for your address and whatnot.

Here’s the questions:

What’s the best invention: a hot tub or an internal combustion engine? Same question only: the internet, condoms or birth control?

My answers: An engine is better because it’s a lot easier to clean sperm out of it. The internet’s better because my vibrator is completely useless with the other two.

Can you beat it?

P.S. Image Via Lian Ferrell [Flickr]

By Jill

Hi, I'm just a crazy writer who spends too much time online.

4 replies on “Decisions Decisions Contest!”

A hot tub is so much better. You can eat in it, sleep in it, do things I’d rather not think about in it . . . internal combustion engines just have to do with vehicles, right?

And as for the internet, come on, the internet is it’s own birth control.

I’d say a hot tub that ran off an internal combustion engine would be awesome…or you just get a kiddy pool and use your own internal combustion engine to warm it…yeah I know that’s gross but we all do it…

The internet, condoms and birth control all function the same pretty much. With condoms you protect the man, birth control you protect the woman and the internet you’re doing it but not even in the same room so you’re safe too. I guess the dual protection of the internet would win.

1. A hot tub. The engine is realy rough on my thighs.

2. I dunno. I’ve only had sex with two of them.

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