Note To Self -Don’t Sign Dick

signatureI have the worst signature ever. Frequently it turns out to look more like a line graph than the name “Jill Harness.” I think that’s part of the reason I love the story posted by Kingpin at Drunk Republic. He, like myself, realized that the machines and the people operating them really don’t care what your signature looks like.

Unlike me, Kingpin took it a step further and started playing with the screens, writing things like “Crotchy Crotchington,” “My Balls Itch” or “I’m A Criminal.” Eventually, he decided to draw a penis, one like the one above.  Only, in this case, the machine finally did recognize it was not, indeed, a signature. His card was declined and Kingpin had the fortunate exchange with the manager below:

Manager: Sir, your signature…heh…umm…doesn’t match the signature on your card.
Kingpin: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
**The guy behind me bursts into laughter.**
Kingpin: Yeah, I didn’t think this would happen. I’ve been trying to see how far I could go with my signature before the credit card company did something about it.
Manager: I guess you learned your lesson.
Kingpin: Yeah, the credit card doesn’t accept penis.

It’s times like this I am glad I never really grew up all the way.