Rue The Day!

Do not attempt to use a nail clipper to circumsize yourself.

“This is something we would advise men never to attempt,” a medic told the Telegraph. “The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an affect on a man’s sexual performance. Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand.”

Gee, really? If I cut off my own body parts with nail clippers, it will hurt? Wow! Never would have thought.

File this one under “duh,” the idiot bitch who got half her face tattooed and then claimed she slept through it all while the artist destroyed her “good looks” ::snicker:: -she’s admitted that she’s a liar.

No shit! Really, you are almost as stupid as her if you believed her story. At least she gave the tattoo artist the wake up call he needed to start getting clients to start waivers. He really should have done this from day one to protect himself from dumb asses  like her.

And, at least she’ll have this lovely reminder for the rest of her life as to why getting star tattoos over your entire your face is a really moronic idea.

I know a lot of tattoo enthusiasts like myself still think facial tattoos are for idiots. Here’s further proof of this theory. This moron went to a tattoo artist, got 56stars on her face, returned to her boyfriend and father, who presumably said “you look like a total douchebag now,” and then sued the tattoo artist that did the work. She’s trying to claim that she only wanted 3 stars and that she was asleep during the tattoo process…only, you’d never sleep through a tattoo, especially one on your face. And artists almost always will stencil the stuff on your face before they start inking you. I only hope that she can never afford to get the ink removed so she is left branded as a moron for the rest of her life. Here’s to you douchebag!

I really NEED to win this eBay auction so I can punch this tool in the face. No, really, that’s what the auction is for. If you donate to my paypal, I just might be able to raise enough money to win the auction and get an airline ticket to North Carolina, just to punch this guy in the face. It’s totally worth it. If you help me fulfill my dream by donating $2 or more, I promise to send you an autographed 8×10″ glossy of me punching him in the face. Muchas Gracias mi amigas.

Link found via Neatorama Upcoming Queue.

This video killed me. The whole “we aren’t racist” thing is so damn hillarious, her husband only has a swastika tattoo because he likes the artwork.

Today, GiggleSugar had two inventions worthy of the stupidest inventions ever title. So here goes, first I present to you the Whizzinator.

Now this invention is not actually new, but it is new news that the inventors have just been arrested. You see, the Whizzinator isn’t just a flashy looking fake weinner, it’s actually a snazzy way to cheat on a drug test. The fake penis can help you squeeze out someone else’s warm pee from a realistic looking wang. The Inventors have plead guilty to a conspiracy.

The next invention isn’t illegal, it’s just moronic. If mooning people is getting you chilly and you don’t want to feel the breeze blowing against your naked cheeks, but still want to give them the full view of your back side, this little beaut is for you. You can now moon people without ever showing your real butt. Genius? Only if you’re 10 years old.

Over at my other blog, The Assholes Guide to Etiquette, I posted a new article about the hypocrisy of political people. Both sides were mocked all in good fun. If you get a chance, stop by and read it.

Quote of the Day:
“There are grammatical errors even in his silence.” -Stanislaw J. Lec

Fact of the Day:
The movie “There Will Be Blood” made their “oil” using the same industrial material McDonald’s uses to thicken their milkshakes. -Source

Today’s Holiday:
Rat Catcher’s Day to commemorate the Pied Piper of Hamelin.

Link of the Day:
Amazing speakers everyone needs.