Rue The Day!

Sure, we need to protect our children from violence and perverts, but banning all cameras from school and preventing them from touching each other aren’t reasonable solutions. Read about more stupid security measures over at Cracked.

These snail shells are stunning, but is it really worth killing off a whole species just to make jewelry from them? Some idiots think so. Read about more animals that are extinct for stupid reasons over at Cracked.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that not everyone has heard of The Onion. It’s even easier to take for granted the fact that most people have strong enough sarcasm detectors to realize the stories are satire. Fortunately, through the miracle of social networking, we can now find and laugh at those who don’t get the joke thanks to the new Tumblr blog Literally Unbelievable.

While I wouldn’t call some of these tattoos inappropriate, per se, they are certainly stupid.

Here are a few tips:

• Don’t try to sell your services on a website
• Don’t go to the mark, tell them you’ll kill them unless they pay you and then leave for a few days so they can call the cops
• Don’t use your abused wife as an accomplice and expect her not to turn on you the first chance she gets.

More useful tips here.

Image via flexgraph [Flickr]

Anna and Guy Esposito happily entered their cat, Sal, in the pets section of the 2010 census, but they certainly didn’t expect that to result in their cat getting a jury summons. While that’s pretty silly to start with, the truly ridiculous part came when Anna filed to have Sal disqualified on the grounds that he doesn’t speak English -and the court refused to disqualify the feline.

CNN has reported that a number of people have been experiencing serious depression after viewing Avatar because they cannot live in the imaginary world seen on screen.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” some loser named Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Here’s a tip: if you are feeling this low after seeing Avatar, you probably should just kill yourself because your life is obviously an empty void to start with.

In an attempt to illegalize gay marriage, Texas made a big boo boo and accidentally illegalized all marriages.

Subsection B of the ban, a constitutional amendment ratified in 2005, states, “This state…may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.”

Notice anything strange there? Oh yeah, there’s no mention of same sex couples, just legal marriage. Good job dumbasses.

Image via ronsho [Flickr]

We all know Fox News is full of idiots, but this picture only shows how moronic they really are. Maybe Mrs. Palin isn’t as stupid as she seems, maybe she just mistakenly relies on the geographers that work for Fox. Thanks for the pic Miss C.

“Trying to hide your thunder thighs and balloon belly is no day at the beach,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “PETA has a free ‘Vegetarian Starter Kit’ for people who want to lose pounds while eating as much as they like.

First of all, there are fat vegetarians. Second of all, even skinny vegetarians can be a lot more unhealthy than an overweight meat eater, it all depends on nutrients and whatnot.

For them to post an ad like this and then say they’re just trying to help is just crap. Personally, I can’t wait for the PETA president to die. She’s planning to have a barbeque to make a statement about meat eating. I plan to be first in line for a slice of her corn-fed moronic ass. Get raped PETA, get raped.