Rue The Day!

Are you ready to get your holiday on? Then head over to Psycho Donuts and enjoy a pumpkin pie donut that actually contains pumpkin pie filling and is topped with maple icing and graham crackers.

You already know that masturbation is a bit taboo in today’s society. As it turns out though, the fear of masturbation has actually changed the world itself in many an important manner.

Who knew that candy, Christmas tree and pumpkin cookie cutters could result in in these perfect Star Wars cookies? And aren’t they adorable?

We see plenty of adorable dogs and kitties online every day, but don’t think for a second that turtles aren’t equally precious.

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It’s true, Southern California is full of these huge-tittied, duck-liped bimbos.

The hypocrisy would be hilarious if it weren’t so damn depressing.

The 53% supporters seem to think they they are a noble movement here to put an end to those whiny, lazy 99%ers, but the thing is, they were here during past movements and their voices were just as idiotic then.

I spend fourteen hours a days willowing ostrich feathers so that rich women can wear attractive hats. Because they want to wear these hats, I am able to HAVE A JOB. I used to make 15 cents an hour, but now there are so many young girls in the business that I only make seven or eight cents. The boss tells us that we will soon be paid only five cents.

BUT I DO NOT COMPLAIN, because I am determined to WORK HARD FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE.

Also, my boss will fire or rape me if I complain.

Read the rest of this great historical satire over at Lawyers, Guns and Money.

Don’t think for a second that the only creatures affected by the greed of the 1% are humans. These dogs occupying Wall Street have also been victimized by corporate greed.

There are plenty of useless petitions online these days, but here’s one that should be able to make a real difference. Nickelback is scheduled to perform at the Detroit Lions Thanksgiving halftime show and this petition asks you to agree that Detroit has been through enough and doesn’t need Nickelback to add to the city’s suffering. If you have a heart, you’ll sign.