What time is it? It’s not Adventure Time, but it’s something almost as fun -prom season. And while plenty of teens will attend their prom and have a great time this year, even non-attendees can enjoy the celebration by enjoying the trashy, terrible style that these teens are certain to regret sooner rather than later.
She’s Cheaper Than The Dress
Perfect for: The AVN Awards (aka the award show for porn movies)
What’s wrong with it? My boyfriend swears that this design must be intended to be worn with something under it, but the fact that this is a catalog image indicates that this is really how they intend this dress to be worn.
The bottom line: There are some seriously slutty dresses on this list, but as far as commercially manufactured ones, it’s hard to get more whore-y than this.
The Princess and the Pea Pod
Perfect for: A pregnant genie
What’s wrong with it? Hey, why let a little thing like a pregnancy stop you from wearing the slutty prom dress of your dreams? And won’t your future baby be proud when he sees what a prominent role he played in your prom dress?
The bottom line: Skanky dresses are bad enough at prom, but accentuating your pregnant belly with a sparkly sash and an outfit that doesn’t cover up much else besides your baby bump is the ultimate in classlessness.
Did That Come on a Cardboard Tube?
Perfect for: A Charmin commercial or a nudist prom.
What’s wrong with it? Aside from the fact that it looks like pieces of toilet paper tied together, it barely covers her titties or kooter.
The bottom line: If you have to hold the front of your dress closed at the front to avoid a wardrobe malfunction, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it.
The Gold Digger In Training
Perfect for: The next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
What’s wrong with it? It looks like there’s more silicone straps on this thing than actual fabric. Seriously she’d probably look less trashy if she wore a bikini to prom.
The bottom line: If you’re already trying this hard to land a rich husband and you haven’t even graduated high school, then your school has failed in giving you any real life skills.
Perfect for: The hooker date of someone attending the Player’s Ball
What’s wrong with it? I don’t know which is worse -the random chains holding the whole monstrosity up, the ample exposed skin or the sheer fabric on the leg area that proves “yes, this dress could be sluttier.”
The bottom line: In all, the whole thing looks like it feel in a garbage disposal before she pulled it back out and said “ehhh, it’s good enough” and went off to prom.
The Showgirl Surprise
Perfect for: An aspiring flamingo.
What’s wrong with it? The cleavage-loaded top and rhinestones are nothing compared to the ruffly disaster that makes up the skirt and train of these trainwrecks.
The bottom line: Maybe someone on Dancing With the Stars could get away with wearing one of these, but a teenager going to prom shouldn’t even be able to get her beak through the door in this thing.
A Little Off the Top (And Sides, And Middle, And Bottom)
Perfect for: Three groupies trying to win over Jay-Z after hearing about his marital problems with Beyonce.
What’s wrong with it? To start off with, most high schools would never let you go through the door in any of these dresses for any number of reasons -particularly the fact that the slits all go right up to their panties. Next, the black dresses’ midsection manages to look even more slutty than even the bra-top one because having two strips of fabric basically draws the eye to her gut.
The bottom line: They must have been trying to save fabric because what other excuse is there for cutting out the entire front section of the black dresses’ skirt?
She Blinded Me With Ugly
Perfect for: An interpretive dance about the lifespan of a butterfly.
What’s wrong with it? The missing sides and excessive cleavage still play second-fiddle to these hideously-trashy fabric.
The bottom line: Unless you’re trying to demonstrate the mating rituals of the native butterflies, there’s practically no excuse to wear something this ugly.
A Confederacy of Dumbasses
Perfect for: Anyone inbred enough to lack the cultural understanding, class and decency necessary to know this is a bad idea.
What’s wrong with it? The Confederate flag. Yes, we’ve all heard that it’s not racist, but is really a sign of rebellion, blah, blah, blah, but you know what, the Nazi Swastika is technically only a symbol of the Nationalist Socialist Party, not of their murder of millions of Jewish people, but that doesn’t make it any less offensive.
The bottom line: Leave the Confederate flag to General Lee of the Dukes of Hazard.
Bodysuits and Barebacks
Perfect for: The next Lady Gaga or Pink.
What’s wrong with it? It looks like she’s wearing a leather diaper over the see-through bodysuit and despite this potty protection, her crack is still hanging out.
The bottom line: Let the pop stars try to be shocking -they’re the only ones with an excuse to get away with wearing saggy-leather diapers.
Perfect for: A human-filled car wash machine
What’s wrong with it? The two slits, the exposed stomach and sides and the cleavage are all bad, but that fabric is probably the worst thing about this dress.
The bottom line: If it looks like you could wrap leftovers in it, it probably shouldn’t be worn to prom.
I Don’t Dream of Skankie
Perfect for: A cheesy metal video from the 80s.
What’s wrong with it? It’s like she grabbed a bra top, paired it with a long skirt and decided that if she really wanted to whore it up, she’d better cut a few squares around the waist of the skirt too.
The bottom line: When it’s impossible to tell if your pubes are out or if that’s just a shadow, you shouldn’t be wearing it.
Where Serial Killers Come From
Perfect for: This really wouldn’t be a bad figure-skating outfit.
What’s wrong with it? It’s too short, too skimpy and see-through, the real question is “what’s right about it?”
The bottom line: The boy in the background pretty much nailed how we feel about this dress.
Is That A Vagina On Your Dress Or Are You Happy to See Me?
Perfect for: A woman with the subtlety of a Bond villain.
What’s wrong with it? The subliminal vagina isn’t so much subliminal as just saying “hey, here’s a vagina right over my real vagina.”
The bottom line: It’s less revealing than most of these other dresses, but no less trashy.
Just A Robot
Perfect for: The hipster girl who pretends she’s above all this, but still desperately wants all the guys to pay attention to her.
What’s wrong with it? Few styles look good in all silver and this is not one of them. As if that weren’t bad enough, the bottom half is just poor-fitting and poorly cut -plus, the amount of leg under this dress makes it look like she forgot to wear the matching skirt.
The bottom line: If you’re going to look like a total slut, at least wear something form-flattering.
Gold and Silver Are A No-Go
Perfect for: A disco ball.
What’s wrong with it? How do you turn a trashy silver, spandex dress into a formal gown? Apparently by adding beaded curtains to the bottom.
The bottom line: This dress looks like it belongs in a weird, wannabe-sexy Coors ad, but even then it would fail at being sexy or glamorous.
Perfect for: An American Apparel billboard.
What’s wrong with it? Nothing says formal occasion like pleather and mesh
The bottom line: If a dress looks terrible on the model, it probably won’t look great on anyone else and these materials just look terrible together in any situation.
Life In Plastic Ain’t Fantastic
Perfect for: Barbie’s formal sleepover.
What’s wrong with it? Pink, zebra, a garter, elastic and a dangling belly ring? No, just no.
The bottom line: A pink and zebra pajama pants set with train isn’t a good look for anything but a sleepover.
Sponge Bob Sad Pants
Perfect for: Literally nothing. There is no reason this dress should exist.
What’s wrong with it? Fine, you want to wear a character from a children’s cartoon on your dress -but don’t whore it up. No one wants to think about Sponge Bob and your tits.
The bottom line: Even Sponge Bob is begging you to confiscate this dress and burn it with fire so he can just die in peace and be put out of his misery.
Don’t Poo Pooh On Me?
Perfect for: Any four year-old’s prom.
What’s wrong with it? Really, without the sluttiness of the Sponge Bob dress, this one isn’t nearly as bad, but the matching suit is pretty terrible and the guy doesn’t really look thrilled to be wearing it either.
The bottom line: Pooh is pretty awesome, but a boot-leg bow-tied version isn’t really the best prom theme.
Jessica Simpson Beta Version
Perfect for: A wannabe princess who can’t afford alterations or a dress that fits right in the first place.
What’s wrong with it? Sluttiness aside, you know it’s bad when not even the model looks good in this poorly-cut design.
The bottom line: There are worse dresses around, but you’re still not going to impress anyone in this getup.
Perfect for: Those who can’t decide if they want to go formal, semi-formal or hooker in hot pants.
What’s wrong with it? These are all just awful, even the semi-fancy one at the bottom -because, let’s face it, shorts aren’t fancy. If you are going to rock the shorts at least don’t go for a bra top with suspenders look.
The bottom line: Sparkly shorts are pretty much only good for cheerleaders, cabaret dancers and hookers.
World of Whatcraft?
Perfect for: A role playing convention where you have to make your own characters.
What’s wrong with it? It’s like she put a see-through bustier together with a mermaid skirt and then decided it wasn’t eye-catching enough, so she needed to add some matching blue spikes to the look. Maybe she wanted GWAR to look sexy.
The bottom line: Pretty much everything about this look is terrible.
Perfect for: Anyone who needs to hide in the bushes and hunt ducks before, during or after attending a formal event.
What’s wrong with it? As I pointed out in the Terribly Trashy Tuxes post, camouflage is pretty much always a poor choice unless you are actually on a military mission or hunting.
The bottom line: When someone tells you the best thing you can do at prom is just “blend in,” this is not what they mean.
No, You’re Not Balling
Perfect for: A court-side formal occasion.
What’s wrong with it? There’s nothing wrong with being a sports fan, but like camouflage, there’s a time and a place for your team jersey and it’s not your prom or wedding.
The bottom line: The only excusable reason to have a name and number on the back of your prom dress, is because your prom is in juvenile hall.
Too Much Slut To Shake A Stick At
There are way too many slutty prom dresses to write a lengthy piece about all of them, here’s a giant pile of some of the skankiest ones around.
If you like this one, don’t miss these terribly trashy wedding dresses.
There’s no more classic American meal than a cheeseburger with fries, but why bother with all those useless bread calories when you could instead combine the cheeseburger and French fries into one wonderful combined sandwich.
I’m willing to bet you could guess who made this magnificent meal into a reality. That’s right, Nick from Dude Foods created it. And that means you can learn to make your own fry bun at home thanks to his helpful directions.
OK, technically they aren’t actually gingerbread, but these graham cracker dice are a great way to turn your gingerbread castle adventure into a full on holiday roleplaying game.
Obviously, the process is pretty simple as it just involves gluing graham crackers together with icing and then drawing on numbers, but following Our Nerd Home’s instructions for cutting it into the right shapes is critical if you want to make anything besides a six-sided die (and where’s the fun in that).
What’s sexier than Burt Reynolds? How about a nude Burt Reynolds on a delicious eclair? It’s like a hairy and sweet dream. This tasty treat is a creation of Lou Lou P’s Delights in Leeds and features not just any iconic image of Burt Reynolds, but his famous Cosmopolitan centerfold from the 70s.
By the way, that centerfold pretty much made Burt into a household name and launched Cosmo into a whole new realm of women’s publishing. You can learn more about the infamous photo in this great BBC article, but personally, I’d rather just eat Lou Lou P’s eclair.
If you’re about to get baked and want something just amazing to eat after you smoke, you might want to check out some of these amazing stonerific treats from Oddee -like the Spaghettios cupcakes with Velveeta frosting above.
With Halloween and all of its dark and ghostly delights fast approaching, we got to thinking about the spookiest holiday destinations in Europe.
After all, what could be a better way of indulging your love of all things spooky than booking a weekend in a haunted house or doing a tour around the most haunted locations in Europe? So, we took a look at just some of the places you could visit and be very scared by this Halloween. Just don’t look behind you!
The Famous Catacombs in Paris
OK, so you can’t stay in them exactly, but you can book a holiday in Paris and go and visit one of the most awe-inspiring tourist attractions in the French capital. The Paris Catacombs are basically a huge maze of crypts and tunnels that wind their way under the streets of the city, where the dead went to rest after the city ran out of space for more traditional cemeteries. The famous Paris Opera House is also worth visiting, not just because it’s utterly fabulous, but also because it’s the very real place Gaston Leroux based his story of the Phantom of the Opera – a legend that has captured imaginations for over 100 years. Perhaps the masked ghost is still lurking down there, hiding in the vast underground lagoon that sits below the Opera House…
Image by Joseph Holmes
Spain’s Faces in the Floor
If you’re into ghost stories then you will definitely have heard about Belmez de la Moraleda. The unassuming street in Spain has become extremely famous due to the scary faces that have been manifesting in the floor. They began in 1971 and have been photographed frequently. It was found that there were human remains beneath the floor, which were then removed but it’s a very evocative place to visit. If you’re on holiday in Spain this Autumn, and particularly over Halloween, consider making the journey, it doesn’t have to be an expensive diversion either. It’s easily reachable from various resorts like Malaga, so a bit of searching online should come up with cheap flights to Malaga and a hire car to get you to your haunted destination. Just try not to be too frightened!
Image by Juan de la Cruz Moreno Balboa
Glamis Castle – The Most Haunted Castle in Scotland
Scotland is pretty famous for revelling in its many haunted houses and spooky places to visit so you will be spoiled for choice if you’ve decided to head up north this Halloween. But for one of the best, and most notorious, places to stay, try Glamis Castle. It’s a fabulous Gothic castle, which looks like it has come straight out of the Addam’s Family, and according to all the tourist guides of the region, is bound to give you the willies should you be brave enough to spend a night within its scary walls.
Image by Diego’s Sideburns
Visit the Real Dracula in Romania
You can’t go to haunted places in Europe and miss out on the residence of one of the most notoriously scary people ever. Vlad the Impaler is the inspiration for Stoker’s Dracula and his place of residence was Poienari Castle. In fact, it’s also the place where he tortured so many enemies to death by calmly popping them on stakes and then holding a feast while listening to their cries of agony. Soak up the atmosphere of the castle and nearby Lake Snagov, which is where he is thought to be buried.
Image by Richard Mortel
Follow the Footsteps of Jack the Ripper in London
London’s East End is where the infamous and famous serial killer known as Jack the Ripper stalked his prey in the late 19th century. The mystery of his identity has never been solved and his story is grimly fascinating. You can book on to a guided walk which will show you every murder spot and all the other venues with which he is associated. You never know, maybe you’ll be inspired enough to solve the mystery once and for all!
Image by Jamie Durant
Know of any other great haunted destinations worth visiting? Feel free to share your stories in the comments!
Posted in association with Mermaids Millions
The term cosplay was coined in 1984 by Nobuyuki from Studio Hard at the World Science Fiction Convention in Los Angeles. While the idea was nothing new, the term has taken off and the amount of cosplay enthusiasts has grown dramatically since the early nineties, even leaking into mainstream culture. Every year Japan runs a cosplay convention called Comiket, drawing in hundreds of thousands of people who love to dress up as their favorite anime, J-pop and video game heroes. The potential is limitless; anything goes, whether it’s Abraham Lincoln or GlaDOS.
This year an estimated 130,000 attended San Diego Comic Con, their maximum capacity. Although it is primarily comic-focused, Comic Con like many current day conventions encompasses all elements of geek culture, and then some. While many will dress as Batman, Superman or Wonder Woman, there is so much room for creativity that just as standard, you will almost definitely see steampunk and gender reversal versions of well-known characters. As an unspoken rule, anything goes; conventions tend to attract a wide variety of people from different backgrounds, drawn together through the fandom.
For some cosplayers, it can be an expensive and time-consuming hobby. People spend thousands of dollars making their costumes with fairly serious attention, including fantasy weapon replicas and full costumes. It’s common practice to pose for photos, with some even making their hobby into a full-time job; professional mermaids for instance work at children’s parties and swim on camera with functioning tales made from monofins wrapped in wet-suit materials. If you’re not a professional or haven’t been lucky enough to win at mermaid millions while indulging your mermillion obsession and need to go with something a little cheaper, costumes can be made at home out of cardboard and duct tape: money isn’t important at a con and while expensively made costumes will draw attention, it’s more about creativity and dedication than flash.
Most people just wear the costumes, but some players aim to take on the persona of their character. Heroes have provided role-models for many young people and for a weekend it can be great fun to forget their normal lives and try something more exciting. Not everyone has the time or creative skill to create a costume, but any hints at geek culture are generally appreciated at conventions; wearing a subtle fan t-shirt, or adapting logos and themes from costumes into jewelry and other accessories may not get you as much notice as a full costume but will earn you a few knowing nods.
Whether you’re taking on the Empire or just fighting against America’s idiotic anti-pot laws, this X Wing fighter pipe can help you take on all that is unjust while making you feel really good at the same time.
The hero’s journey is a time-tested theory of what makes a good story, whether for a movie, novel or play. While plenty of people have written about and tried to teach the concept, only now have puppets been included in the process, making it easier to absorb the information than ever.
How do you celebrate your love of Doctor Who, steampunk and reading in your wedding without spelling everything out? Make a bouquet featuring book pages, a sonic screwdriver and brass steampunk goodness like Flickr user Elsa S. In case you’re curious, the pages came from Sherlock Holmes tales.