What time is it? It’s not Adventure Time, but it’s something almost as fun -prom season. And while plenty of teens will attend their prom and have a great time this year, even non-attendees can enjoy the celebration by enjoying the trashy, terrible style that these teens are certain to regret sooner rather than later.
She’s Cheaper Than The Dress
Perfect for: The AVN Awards (aka the award show for porn movies)
What’s wrong with it? My boyfriend swears that this design must be intended to be worn with something under it, but the fact that this is a catalog image indicates that this is really how they intend this dress to be worn.
The bottom line: There are some seriously slutty dresses on this list, but as far as commercially manufactured ones, it’s hard to get more whore-y than this.
The Princess and the Pea Pod
Perfect for: A pregnant genie
What’s wrong with it? Hey, why let a little thing like a pregnancy stop you from wearing the slutty prom dress of your dreams? And won’t your future baby be proud when he sees what a prominent role he played in your prom dress?
The bottom line: Skanky dresses are bad enough at prom, but accentuating your pregnant belly with a sparkly sash and an outfit that doesn’t cover up much else besides your baby bump is the ultimate in classlessness.
Did That Come on a Cardboard Tube?
Perfect for: A Charmin commercial or a nudist prom.
What’s wrong with it? Aside from the fact that it looks like pieces of toilet paper tied together, it barely covers her titties or kooter.
The bottom line: If you have to hold the front of your dress closed at the front to avoid a wardrobe malfunction, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it.
The Gold Digger In Training
Perfect for: The next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
What’s wrong with it? It looks like there’s more silicone straps on this thing than actual fabric. Seriously she’d probably look less trashy if she wore a bikini to prom.
The bottom line: If you’re already trying this hard to land a rich husband and you haven’t even graduated high school, then your school has failed in giving you any real life skills.
Perfect for: The hooker date of someone attending the Player’s Ball
What’s wrong with it? I don’t know which is worse -the random chains holding the whole monstrosity up, the ample exposed skin or the sheer fabric on the leg area that proves “yes, this dress could be sluttier.”
The bottom line: In all, the whole thing looks like it feel in a garbage disposal before she pulled it back out and said “ehhh, it’s good enough” and went off to prom.
The Showgirl Surprise
Perfect for: An aspiring flamingo.
What’s wrong with it? The cleavage-loaded top and rhinestones are nothing compared to the ruffly disaster that makes up the skirt and train of these trainwrecks.
The bottom line: Maybe someone on Dancing With the Stars could get away with wearing one of these, but a teenager going to prom shouldn’t even be able to get her beak through the door in this thing.
A Little Off the Top (And Sides, And Middle, And Bottom)
Perfect for: Three groupies trying to win over Jay-Z after hearing about his marital problems with Beyonce.
What’s wrong with it? To start off with, most high schools would never let you go through the door in any of these dresses for any number of reasons -particularly the fact that the slits all go right up to their panties. Next, the black dresses’ midsection manages to look even more slutty than even the bra-top one because having two strips of fabric basically draws the eye to her gut.
The bottom line: They must have been trying to save fabric because what other excuse is there for cutting out the entire front section of the black dresses’ skirt?
She Blinded Me With Ugly
Perfect for: An interpretive dance about the lifespan of a butterfly.
What’s wrong with it? The missing sides and excessive cleavage still play second-fiddle to these hideously-trashy fabric.
The bottom line: Unless you’re trying to demonstrate the mating rituals of the native butterflies, there’s practically no excuse to wear something this ugly.
A Confederacy of Dumbasses
Perfect for: Anyone inbred enough to lack the cultural understanding, class and decency necessary to know this is a bad idea.
What’s wrong with it? The Confederate flag. Yes, we’ve all heard that it’s not racist, but is really a sign of rebellion, blah, blah, blah, but you know what, the Nazi Swastika is technically only a symbol of the Nationalist Socialist Party, not of their murder of millions of Jewish people, but that doesn’t make it any less offensive.
The bottom line: Leave the Confederate flag to General Lee of the Dukes of Hazard.
Bodysuits and Barebacks
Perfect for: The next Lady Gaga or Pink.
What’s wrong with it? It looks like she’s wearing a leather diaper over the see-through bodysuit and despite this potty protection, her crack is still hanging out.
The bottom line: Let the pop stars try to be shocking -they’re the only ones with an excuse to get away with wearing saggy-leather diapers.
Perfect for: A human-filled car wash machine
What’s wrong with it? The two slits, the exposed stomach and sides and the cleavage are all bad, but that fabric is probably the worst thing about this dress.
The bottom line: If it looks like you could wrap leftovers in it, it probably shouldn’t be worn to prom.
I Don’t Dream of Skankie
Perfect for: A cheesy metal video from the 80s.
What’s wrong with it? It’s like she grabbed a bra top, paired it with a long skirt and decided that if she really wanted to whore it up, she’d better cut a few squares around the waist of the skirt too.
The bottom line: When it’s impossible to tell if your pubes are out or if that’s just a shadow, you shouldn’t be wearing it.
Where Serial Killers Come From
Perfect for: This really wouldn’t be a bad figure-skating outfit.
What’s wrong with it? It’s too short, too skimpy and see-through, the real question is “what’s right about it?”
The bottom line: The boy in the background pretty much nailed how we feel about this dress.
Is That A Vagina On Your Dress Or Are You Happy to See Me?
Perfect for: A woman with the subtlety of a Bond villain.
What’s wrong with it? The subliminal vagina isn’t so much subliminal as just saying “hey, here’s a vagina right over my real vagina.”
The bottom line: It’s less revealing than most of these other dresses, but no less trashy.
Just A Robot
Perfect for: The hipster girl who pretends she’s above all this, but still desperately wants all the guys to pay attention to her.
What’s wrong with it? Few styles look good in all silver and this is not one of them. As if that weren’t bad enough, the bottom half is just poor-fitting and poorly cut -plus, the amount of leg under this dress makes it look like she forgot to wear the matching skirt.
The bottom line: If you’re going to look like a total slut, at least wear something form-flattering.
Gold and Silver Are A No-Go
Perfect for: A disco ball.
What’s wrong with it? How do you turn a trashy silver, spandex dress into a formal gown? Apparently by adding beaded curtains to the bottom.
The bottom line: This dress looks like it belongs in a weird, wannabe-sexy Coors ad, but even then it would fail at being sexy or glamorous.
Perfect for: An American Apparel billboard.
What’s wrong with it? Nothing says formal occasion like pleather and mesh
The bottom line: If a dress looks terrible on the model, it probably won’t look great on anyone else and these materials just look terrible together in any situation.
Life In Plastic Ain’t Fantastic
Perfect for: Barbie’s formal sleepover.
What’s wrong with it? Pink, zebra, a garter, elastic and a dangling belly ring? No, just no.
The bottom line: A pink and zebra pajama pants set with train isn’t a good look for anything but a sleepover.
Sponge Bob Sad Pants
Perfect for: Literally nothing. There is no reason this dress should exist.
What’s wrong with it? Fine, you want to wear a character from a children’s cartoon on your dress -but don’t whore it up. No one wants to think about Sponge Bob and your tits.
The bottom line: Even Sponge Bob is begging you to confiscate this dress and burn it with fire so he can just die in peace and be put out of his misery.
Don’t Poo Pooh On Me?
Perfect for: Any four year-old’s prom.
What’s wrong with it? Really, without the sluttiness of the Sponge Bob dress, this one isn’t nearly as bad, but the matching suit is pretty terrible and the guy doesn’t really look thrilled to be wearing it either.
The bottom line: Pooh is pretty awesome, but a boot-leg bow-tied version isn’t really the best prom theme.
Jessica Simpson Beta Version
Perfect for: A wannabe princess who can’t afford alterations or a dress that fits right in the first place.
What’s wrong with it? Sluttiness aside, you know it’s bad when not even the model looks good in this poorly-cut design.
The bottom line: There are worse dresses around, but you’re still not going to impress anyone in this getup.
Perfect for: Those who can’t decide if they want to go formal, semi-formal or hooker in hot pants.
What’s wrong with it? These are all just awful, even the semi-fancy one at the bottom -because, let’s face it, shorts aren’t fancy. If you are going to rock the shorts at least don’t go for a bra top with suspenders look.
The bottom line: Sparkly shorts are pretty much only good for cheerleaders, cabaret dancers and hookers.
World of Whatcraft?
Perfect for: A role playing convention where you have to make your own characters.
What’s wrong with it? It’s like she put a see-through bustier together with a mermaid skirt and then decided it wasn’t eye-catching enough, so she needed to add some matching blue spikes to the look. Maybe she wanted GWAR to look sexy.
The bottom line: Pretty much everything about this look is terrible.
Perfect for: Anyone who needs to hide in the bushes and hunt ducks before, during or after attending a formal event.
What’s wrong with it? As I pointed out in the Terribly Trashy Tuxes post, camouflage is pretty much always a poor choice unless you are actually on a military mission or hunting.
The bottom line: When someone tells you the best thing you can do at prom is just “blend in,” this is not what they mean.
No, You’re Not Balling
Perfect for: A court-side formal occasion.
What’s wrong with it? There’s nothing wrong with being a sports fan, but like camouflage, there’s a time and a place for your team jersey and it’s not your prom or wedding.
The bottom line: The only excusable reason to have a name and number on the back of your prom dress, is because your prom is in juvenile hall.
Too Much Slut To Shake A Stick At
There are way too many slutty prom dresses to write a lengthy piece about all of them, here’s a giant pile of some of the skankiest ones around.
If you like this one, don’t miss these terribly trashy wedding dresses.
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Happy post-Comic Con everyone. I’ve finally finished uploading all of these great costumes. Don’t miss my gallery of sexy Comic Con girls from this year or my previous cosplay articles from 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009 and 2008.
Also, if you see any costumes you recognize in the unknown section, feel free to leave a comment so I can help label them and categorize them. Thanks!
This was a great take on The Avengers. Hopefully next year they’ll return with even more members of the team.
To do this pose, Hawkeye had to promise someone else that the arrows weren’t actually functional.
Just about every Avenger was found somewhere around the convention. Here’s Thor…
And here’s one of the many lady Captain Americas.
And here was a female and male version of America’s greatest hero.
Amazingly, with all those Captain Americas around, Red Skull was still able to cruise around undetered.
Thanks Brad for identifying these two as Hope Summers and Cable.
This She-Hulk was simply beautiful…
As was this Wonder Woman.
But I think my favorite hero of the weekend was this Wonder Woman.
It was nice to see Wonder Woman and Super Man together…
But a little strange to see him spending time with Cat Woman, even if she is hot.
Cat Woman was all over the convention, even hanging out with Wolverine.
Here’s a sexy looking-Mystique.
Although, I must say that I’ve always found her much more sexy in this form.
Magneto always looks bad ass.
I asked Rogue if she died her hair just for this costume and she told me that she always wears it like this.
It’s always nice to see someone in Logan’s X-Men costume.
On the left is a very sexy Psylocke, and thank you Brad for letting me know that Fantomex is the one on the right.
Two Punishers, one of which is beyond sexy.
Everyone love the Silk Spectre.
I can’t tell you how rare it is to see a Robin costume that doesn’t look a bit cheesy and Raven looked quite nice as well.
It’s the Gotham bunch!
There were so many Harleys this year, both in the new…
and more classic incarnations.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that, Harley is awesome.
Whether she’s with the Penguin…
or playing Doctor for Joker…
or getting kidnapped by The Creeper…
or helping the Riddler take on Batman, Harley is always up for a good time.
Of course, I never saw steampunk Batgirl get in such a predicament.
I always find female Hellboys to be quite a bit of fun.
Of course, it’s also nice to see him kicking ass.
This Venom costume was one of my favorites, I was just bummed this picture didn’t turn out as good as I had hoped.
Hawkgirl and Cyborg make a great team, if for no other reason than they’re both super shiny.
Technically, these Axe Cops were there to promote the new show, but it’s still a comic book to me.
Thanks to Josh for letting me know this is Negan from the Walking Dead comics posing with Sponge Bob.
Red and Fozzie were having a ball taking pictures with kids.
Don and Betty looked fabulously annoyed with each other as always.
If I did a sexy men of Comic Con post again this year, Hook would certainly be in it.
The best thing about this Once Upon A Time cosplay is that the girls actually look like the actresses.
It’s a dick in a box, what more could you want?
Someone just blew herself.
He was certainly based on the TV Arrow and not the comic.
Sooooo many Khaleesis this year…
but at least they were pretty sexy.
And this group managed to dress up together.
Going as dead Rob Stark, that’s dark. I like it! Thanks Fleight.
It was hard to beat this group in team cosplay though.
This woman not only had an awesome Star Trek dress, but she also turned her walker into the Star Ship Enterprise.
I’m always a fan of a Trekie with a tribble.
This lovely Klingon Lass was actually performing in the costume at a play later in the weekend.
Tardis dresses are pretty over played these days, but I’m a big fan of this one that actually shows the interior.
I was surprised to have only seen two Claras at the convention, but this girl claimed she saw dozens of them.
I loved this Doctor and Rose because of their awesome accessories.
And it’s always cute to see the Doctor and the Tardis together.
It’s also fabulous to see a black, female Doctor, something I’d love to see on the actual show.
This gender-swapped Doctor and her sister Tardis were pretty darn adorable together.
There was something about this cute little Doctor that made me smile.
And there’s something about River that makes her really sexy…I think it’s the outfit.
Here’s a cute combo, a lady Dalek and Kaylee.
This Mal costume was pretty fantastic.
But I’m always a sucker for female Mals, especially with Jaynes by their side.
I absolutely loved getting to see Lt. Dangle in person.
And It was fantastic getting to see Naboo!
I’ve never seen a drag queen Power Ranger before, but it was pretty awesome.
And this Sherlock costume was great, even if this guy is no Cumberbatch.
There were so many Battle Star fans. It turns out that’s because they were holding an anniverssary special panel this year.
Of course, the guys from Dumb and Dumber would be some of the first people made into zombies.
Drive, fake Ryan Gosling, Drive!
Thanks CJack for letting me know that this costume is from Cabin in the Woods!
Technically, this Selina Kyle could be part of the comic book section, but since her costume was entirely based on the movie version of the character, I figured she’d fit in here better.
The only thing that would make this Wonka costume better would be if he was giving away free chocolate.
Doctor Jones and
Katniss Lara Croft (thanks Elizabeth) could kick so much ass together.
It’s a good thing Snakes on a Plane wasn’t at this year’s Comic Con.
Indiana Jones with Marion Ravenwood have always been a great couple.
And you thought ewoks were cute before!
That’s one lucky Han to have such a sexy Princess Leia and Chewie with him.
This renniasance take on Princess Leia is simply fantastic -it’s creative and stunning. Thanks Jaelle for recognizing this as Padme’s packing dress from Attack of the Clones.
I adore this little geek gal’s cute Star Wars dress.
This guy deserves a medal for being the least sexy Slave Leia cosplayer ever.
This ghetto fabulous Star Wars ensemble was done by the nerds who work at Chronicle books. These fabulous people also gave me a Grumpy Cat book later that weekend, which makes them truly fantastic.
One of the most timely and most creative cosplays of the convention -Sharknado.
Everyone can enjoy a little Hobbit cosplay, even if the hobbit’s feet are way too small.
It’s hard not to love a Green Mile cosplay, if only because the person doing the costume has to look so much like the character to start with.
Thank you Molly for recognizing that this is Ink from the movie Ink (and for getting me interested in this movie, it looks amazing).
Are you the Key Master?
Is it still Hit Girl, or should it be Hit Guy instead?
Accio cute Harry Potter fan!
This steampunk Shawn of the Dead was particularly clever, though it helped that this guy looks like Simon Pegg.
Oh my god! It’s The Birds!
Two Johnney Depp crossplays in one shot -one Mad Hatter and one Edward Scissorhands.
This Falcor cosplay was seriously amazing. I’m genuinely sorry the picture doesn’t show off the costume as well as it could have.
It’s not a Comic Con without a Mario, Luigi and Princess Peach in attendance.
Looks like Waluigi is up to his old Mario Kart tricks again.
All hail the Dragon Born! This Skyrim cosplay is awesome.
These two youngsters were great at playing the Blue Fairy and Zelda.
Jill Valentine and
Leon Scott Kennedy Chris Redfield (thanks TG) of Resident Evil looked ready to take on everyone from the Walking Dead Experience alone.
Commander Shepard in male and female version.
It’s always nice to see Chelle, even without her crazy footwear.
Thanks Mike for explaining that this is Sona from League of Legends.
An assassin right outside the Assassin’s Creed ship, how awesome is that?
This was a bad ass ogre costume based on the WOW race.
It’s possible this awesome demon was just a generic awesome demon, but since he was headed to the Capcom booth, I’m inclined to thing he is from some kind of video game. Jeanie, Amber and Lorelei says it’s probably Illidan from World of Warcraft and I think they’re right.
Why Sub Zero and Scorpion are in floaties, I don’t know, but that you Amanda Miller for helping to identify them.
Pac-Man’s new series is terrible, but the characters are adorable.
Morrigan of Darkstalkers was pretty smart -she made her wings retractable so they wouldn’t get in the way of people walking down the aisles.
Thank you DMJ for identifying her as Taokaka from the videogame Blazblue.
Everyone loves the Robot Chicken, even when he’s accidentally slicing people’s faces apart.
This is Doctor Rockso. He does cocaine.
Carl was there to promot the Adult Swim Fun House, but he didn’t look nearly sweaty enough.
It was good to see Frylock, but I really wanted to see Meatwad.
Cosplayers even go out in their outfits during Comic Con, here’s Duff Man at a real bar.
Nothing like a little bit of Lady Brannigan.
Think of the Inspector Gadget theme song…now stop thinking about it. You can’t, right?
It was nice to see Inuyasha in attendance this year.
This little girl was super proud of her Naruto tailed beast costume, and she had every right to be -it was awesome!
More like Teenage Mutant Cutie Turtles, amirite?
This Transformers gal was cool, but the Krang costume was just plain awesome.
Here’s a close up of Krang. He even smiled for the picture…well, as best as Krang can smile.
There are always plenty of Little Mermaid costumes, but never any with her fancy dress.
This group of Disney princesses even came with their own princes, well…two of them at least, one girl is going to get left out.
While girls always love playing as princesses, guys don’t tend to go as Disney princes, but they do seem to love being Flynn Rider from Tangled and this couple was particularly cute in the role.
Of course, steampunk Captain Hook is always a fun, cool choice as well.
Some of Tinkerbelle’s friends even popped in for a visit.
Who doesn’t love Vanellope Von Schweetz, especially when you can enjoy her in her casual and formal wear?
Sally looked particularly impressive with those great 3D stitches on her face.
Best G.I. Joe group cosplay ever. In fact, there were more in their group that just didn’t get into the picture.
Let’s face it, real adventurers would wear much more casual clothes…like the ones these guys have on.
There were tons of Adventure Time cosplayers, but this one had the best Princess Bubblegum dress around.
Here’s a very young Princess Bubblegum out looking for her Finn in shining armor.
Awesomeo was in attendance, but I couldn’t see Butters anywhere.
Here’s the only good Avatar: the Last Airbender kind.
Thanks Meru and Irving for pointing out that these two are Toph, dressed in fire Nation clothes, and Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe -both from Avatar.
Thank you DMJ and Teeni for recognizing that this is Madoka from Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
Arthur was ready to help fight crime, but there was none to be seen.
Lana Kane here was worried people wouldn’t recognize her without her gun…as if that were the case.
There were a few Archer costumes at the convention this year, but Krieger and Cheryl Tunt, complete with red marks on her neck, were my favorite.
Archer’s Pam, complete with dolphin puppet.
While most people probably just thought this was a guy in a track suit with a hot Communist girl, any Archer fan would immediately recognize Barry Dylan and Katya Kazanova.
Thanks Chibi1120 for recognizing that this is Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler in his drag outfit.
This guy was out on the floor to help promote his booth, Better Than Pants. They were selling tees that said “If you’re happy and you know it clap your…oh” with a picture of the short-armed t-rex.
Even local restaurants got into the cosplay scene. Funky Garcia’s put out this Funky Garcia character to help promote their restaurant.
This gal and her plastic bag dog creature are characters from Aliens in LA, which was promoting its wares at the convention.
Here is another of the wonderfully odd Aliens in LA characters.
This demon costume was seriously bad ass. I’m pretty sure he was just an awesome looking demon, but if he’s from something specific, please let me know.
These cute little Lolita girls were huge fans of the Hello Kitty shop in the Petco Park parking lot.
I think she was going as the Last Unicorn, but I simply loved her dress and mask.
If you aren’t sure what this costume is, that’s because this guy made it up. He is pizza ghost, the ghost of pizza that has been eaten.
It looks like Pedobear is finally starting to enjoy the company of adults -I spotted him at a bar this year. Or, maybe he’s just trying to get booze for his teenage girlfriend.
There are always Ren Fair recruiters upstairs, so I can’t tell you if these
medieval peasants vikings (thanks guys) are part of that or if they just wanted to dress up like this for fun. And thank you Sarah and Andinell for letting me know they are part of the Society for Creative Anachronisms.
Do you think Super Jack could take over the Hamburglar? I like to think the Hamburglar would win, but that’s mostly out of nostalgia.
This Edwardian mother and daughter were quite the fancy family. And thank you Nichole for pointing out that the daughter was playing the little girl from Interview With A Vampire.
Victorian vampire is a great costume for those who love historical costumery, but want a touch of fantasy too.
Elizabeth the First at Comic Con 2013? Why not? If the Doctor can travel through time, surely the queen of England can.
Who says you need a costume when your wife makes awesome hats like this one?
This guy has become a regular at the convention, always covered in different crazy body paints.
Who wouldn’t love an adorable bear girl like this?
This delightful weirdo is at the convention every year, sometimes with a massive knife and always running around acting crazy.
You could actually buy this Workaholics coat from the booth behind her.
This delightfully budget costume is known as the Coors Knight.
This adorable lolita girl found all kinds of fun stuff at the Hello Kitty pop up shop.
This lovely clown girl was from the always odd but always fantastic Bizarro Au Go Go booth.
If you couldn’t tell from the sign, these two are also from Bizarro Au Go Go.
For some reason, I really want the Jesus and the Baronness to be friends.
The one on the right is Cercei from Game of Thrones, and thanks to Bridget, I also know the other girl is Izabel from Brian K. Vaughn’s comic “Saga.”
It would be a brilliant Mad Men episode that let the Joker just stroll on scene and carve up Betty Draper’s face.
I know the girl on the right is The Doctor, and thank you to That Guy for identifying Bastila Shan form Knights of the Old Republic on the left.
Obviously the gent on the left is sportting a ghetto Shredder costume, and thanks to Ashley for identifying Chandra, a planeswalker from Magic The Gathering.
The dog and cat were there helping to promote Petco’s new line of Star Wars product and the soldier is one of the Spartans from 300. Certainly an odd group, but they’d be fun to party with.
A freaky-looking minion with female Loki.
Batman with a girl promoting TNT’s Falling Skies.
Bane with Max Rebo of Jabba’s house band.
Marceline, Princess Bubblegum and a Blade Runner android work surprisingly well together.
Slave Princess Leia and Rorschach together at last.
An Aliens in LA character with Batman.
I recognize Russell Crowe from South Park and Cat Woman, but thanks Meru for pointing out that the other one is Officer Jenny from Pokemon.
I don’t know about you, but I’d love to see a Frankenweenie/Zelda crossover.
Awesome ninja, but what is he from?
This demon thing being created by the makeup school was awesome, I just don’t know if it was from something specific or not.
This was one of the most mind-bafflingly weird costumes at the convention.
This guy on stilts was amazing, but I don’t know what his costume was.
For some reason, this soldier and Victorian woman look very familiar to me. Do you actally recognize them?
Hawkgirl is obviously the one on the right, but who is the dog?
Obviously the two in the middle are Game of Thrones characters, and Amanda Miller recognized the one on the right as Riddick from the Chronicles of Riddick, but who is the one on the left?
I dig this guy’s weird rabbit costume, but is he from anything specific? Victoria might be right that he’s the March Hare. It does sound about right.
While they may not look like it, I’m pretty sure their costumes are from the same source.
This guy had a cool, creepy witch doctor thing going on, but I certainly didn’t recognize him.
The gent on the left seems to be from Assassin’s Creed, but I’m not sure about the one on the right. It was wonderful hearing him read from a trashy romance novel though.
Once again, if you recognize any of the costumes from the unknown costumes category, please let me know in the comments. Thanks!
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A good tattoo can make you go “wow,” but these bizarre celebrity tattoos just make you ask “why?”
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Well, at least they don’t look too miserable about being taken captive by a band of orcs.