Decisions Decisions Contest!

Friday, July 31st, 2009

3651560478_5f5979717dFew of you know this, but I have the sick, self-loathing drive to be a stand up comedian. As a result, I get annoyed when people try really hard to be funny and just fall flat…it’s double when the person is a woman because I am annoyed with how unfunny women tend to be.

Anyway, I was listening to the radio this morning and they had a contest where the person with the funniest reasons for their answers to two questions would win a prize. The contestant’s answers were miserable. I know I could do way better and I think you readers could as well.

So, the first person with answers I deem to be funnier than my own will receive a prize -be sure to leave your real email in the comments so I can contact you for your address and whatnot.

Here’s the questions:

What’s the best invention: a hot tub or an internal combustion engine? Same question only: the internet, condoms or birth control?

My answers: An engine is better because it’s a lot easier to clean sperm out of it. The internet’s better because my vibrator is completely useless with the other two.

Can you beat it?

P.S. Image Via Lian Ferrell [Flickr]